I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
