No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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