Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
