I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
