in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
