I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
