id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
