i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Life is so much better after having sex.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
