video games are the ultimate cock blocker
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize