he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
they call him Oral-B. enough said
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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