So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
She bit a glass in half.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
