Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
