after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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