Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
