I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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