I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
