Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize