tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize
