Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I didn't notice because vodka
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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