Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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