That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I want her autograph on my taint
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
