I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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