How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
