broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
