Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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