I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
