just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Please don't give away my fajitas
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
