***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
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