she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
