Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
