so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
