this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
