i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
When are your genitals available?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Randomize
