someone threw a dead crab at me
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
In America we eat man semen.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
