it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
