We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Randomize
