Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
either way he was missing a nipple.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
