i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize