You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
