Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize