Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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