so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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