A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
