He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
