You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
