forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Randomize
