You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
