.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
