some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
You smell like a Billy Joel song
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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