my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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