I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
