Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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