She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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