what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
No subtext here. People are naked.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
