I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
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