So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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