i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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