Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
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