3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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